Likely, you were watching the Eagles tonight.

Understandable. The first game of the NFL season is usually a must watch and having it on a Friday night means you can have a free Sunday.

It also means it comes at the expense of the Phillies, who are in Miami playing what amounts to a AAAA team, so it becomes a little more justified to have your attention elsewhere. But while you were watching the Eagles, the Phillies were putting on some offensive fireworks.

The Marlins even tried the Kitchen sink and it didn’t work! I’m sorry, but I had to.

The first inning was when the game was pretty much over. Kyle Schwarber hit a ground ball that Jake Burger booted, then tried to throw to the covering pitcher, who tried to catch it behind him with his bare hand. Watching it live, you kind of knew it was over then. Trea Turner singled, Bryce Harper singled and it was 1-0. One out later, Bryson Stott and J.T. Realmuto singled and pushed the score to 3-0. In the second, a Johan Rojas double, followed by a Schwarber single made it 4-0, which brought up Turner, who unloaded on a ball.

Realmuto made it 7-0 with an RBI single that scored Harper and the Phillies’ offense, at the time, looked better than the Eagles’ offense.

Meanwhile, as the offense is crushing the ball, Zack Wheeler on the mound was cruising. This was never a matchup the Marlins were going to win, so maybe they could be an annoying group that inflicted papercuts on him, but Wheeler just dominated them through his outing. Did they get one on him? Sure, there was an RBI double in the fourth that made the score 7-1, but it didn’t matter. Wheeler shook it off and pitched another game that contributed to his Cy Young case.

Honestly, the rest of the game was uneventful. Schwarber homered in the sixth, which was nice.